I accidentally burped into my bong.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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