when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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