So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
