It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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