Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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