One girl and one boy is just not enough.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
