Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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