how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
