i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
