Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Randomize
