1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
