we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
