Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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