he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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