Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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