It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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