You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
