I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
two words...techno handjob
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
