eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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