The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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