I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
