I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
