Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
