I hate all girls vehemently.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
This gyro tastes like lonliness
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
