sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
she peed on how many people?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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