and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
