I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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