YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize
