I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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