Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
