on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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