he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
