Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
