Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
