he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
