I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
