Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
