the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
