Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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