He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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