what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
