He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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