Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
