is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
