You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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