Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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