I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
