also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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