yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
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