We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
